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    hlvmom10 posted:
    [TRIGGER] On March 14th we went in for our first ultrasound. I was so excited, I had made it to 11.5 weeks, after a m/c in sept 2011.

    My vitals were great, everything on the outside looked perfect.

    The image came up on the screen of a beautiful little baby, all i could think about was how happy I was to be seeing this littler person, and how much he/she looked like Hausten (ds) when we had an ultrasound with him at 11 weeks. Then my Doctor pointed to the screen and said," Britt this is where the heartbeat should be...and I don't see one.." He took a few more minutes to keep searching and couldnt detect one. I couldnt look at the screen anymore. DH just held my hand as a nurse took DS out of the room to look at the fish.

    My wonderful doctor gave me the choice of letting it happen naturally or to schedule a D&C. After my tramatic m/c in sept i decided to have a D&C done the next day.

    I arrived at the hospital at 5am on 3.15.12 and was taken to surgery at 7:30am. My doctor told me and my DS and Mom it would take about 15 minutes.

    I wake up to my doctor checking my eyes and asking me if i knew who he was. He told me I had lost alot of blood .at least 1/2 gallon and more and I was in some trouble and told me to be very still.

    I got into the recovery room and was literally put on my head..the bed was tilted all of the way the blood that i did have in my body would be sent to my brain and heart. I remember feeling really tired and couldnt stay awake, I remember a nurse scream for a doctor and I could see my b.p was 60/40 and a heart rate was 125 ..then i blacked out again.The next thing i remember was a nurse grabbing my arm and reading off some letters...I was getting a blood transfusion. I dont know much about blood counts but I know that at that time my count was a 4 and it is supposed to be 11-12. After 9 hours I finally was able to sit up while the 4th bag of blood was being hooked up to my IV. I have so many mixed emotions. I am sad about loosing my baby , I am so scared that if i had chosen to do it naturally I could have died at home.

    I am now on bed rest at home. My doctor calls every 8hours to check on me. Strict bed rest. No lifting anything heavier than a bottle of water. My DS is so confused but understands i dont feel good so he's been laying with me watching home movies. My blood count is still low, as of yesterday it was an 8. I see my Dr. next week for more blood work and tests. He told me he couldnt get my uterus to start took him 30 minutes to stop the bleeding. I asked him if I would be able to have anymore kids, he told me not to worry about that right now, I just need to focus on getting well and bulding my blood supply up again.

    The ultrasound on weds showed that the little baby had fluid in the chest cavity. So my sweet baby didnt suffer and went peacefully.

    I almost made it to my 2nd trimester. That is what is killing me. I almost made it. I am so greatful however that I was able to love and care for that little angel for as long as I could and that I have another angel looking after me..and DH and DS. It still hurts, I am in alot of pain both mentally and physically. But .. Im just greatful to be alive to care for my DS.

    Love to you all.

    korin81 responded:
    Oh my, I am so so sorry for your loss and everything you and your family had to go through thus far. I hope you continue to get better and everything works out for you in the future. I really don't know what to say more, I was tearing up just reading this. I actually read it to my husband because it was just so heartbreaking. You and your family are in our thoughts
    Korin(31), DH(26), DS(3), DD(1), EDD: 10/18/12
    hlvmom10 replied to korin81's response:
    Thank you for your sweet words. And thank you for the prayers sent my way. It really does mean alot.

    Haylen_WebMD_Staff replied to hlvmom10's response:
    My thoughts are with you and your family during this stressful time!

    It sounds like you have a great doctor - calling to check on a patient is almost unheard of! Sending positive, healing vibes your way...

    thebirdisblue87 responded:
    I am so sorry. I had a miscarriage in January but luckily I was only 4 weeks along and it all came out natuarlly. I cannot imagine how much you must be hurting. I cried for weeks after mine and it was not nearly as bad.
    I am now almost 6 weeks pregnant. I hope you can have a good recovery and wish you the best of luck with pregnancies in the future.
    hlvmom10 replied to thebirdisblue87's response:
    congrats on being prego again!! I want it so badly, but I know that now I am far away from that point in my life right now. I am still trying to recover from so much blood loss I have strict orders to do nothing lol and don't go back to work untill april 24th!! I have alot of time on my I have had and have time to process my thoughts...and It makes me cherish DS even more now....
    hlvmom10 replied to Haylen_WebMD_Staff's response:
    Thank you for your sweet words!

    Yes, I do have a GREAT doctor, I actually refer to him as a saint ...since in my eyes he saved my life. I have a really great relationship with him, he is so compassionate and caring. He has had to tell me twice now that he cannot find a heartbeat...we both had high hopes this time since I was at 11.5 weeks and no spotting. I dont know what I would do without him!! I see him on monday so we can discuss further...even though I have called a few times after hours, and he promptly returns my call and doesnt act annoyed!! It is kind of funny, I am on a first name basis with his staff...the look on his nurses faces when I came in the office 4 days after my D&C...made me feel like they really cared about me and my overall well being..they are so wonderful. I wish everyone had a doctor like mine.

    Again, thank you for your sweet words <3
    hlvmom10 responded:
    My due date is this week. I am absolutely heart broken.

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