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    Coping with Rejection
    Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD posted:
    When a partner breaks up with you, it's easy to feel overwhelmed with rejection. It's essential that you do what you can to help yourself through these difficult times. For instance, you will probably feel better in the end if you find healthy ways to comfort yourself, remind yourself that there is more to you than being rejected, and get off your couch and out into the world.

    If you've struggled with feeling rejected, how have you tried to help yourself? What has worked? What hasn't?

    If you would like to read more in detail about this topic in my post for WebMD's Relationships blog, click here .

    Dr. Becker-Phelps's discussions and her responses in those discussions are for general educational purposes only. If you need help for an emotional or behavioral problem, please seek the assistance of a psychologist or other qualified mental health professional.

    dfromspencer responded:
    Another excellent blog, Dr. Leslie!

    I've been dumped more times than I care to admit. However, I have always told myself it is just their opinion. I have only let myself grieve over one relationship so far, and that was with Melinda. I was down, deep down, with no thoughts of ever returning to normal. If it hadn't of been for some wacky guys I grew up with, I don't know how that might have turned out? They refused to leave me alone, and kept assuring me there was more fish in the sea than just the one. It did the trick.

    I guess what worked best for me was; telling myself that it was their opinion, not everyone's opinion of me. What didn't work? Telling myself there was no one that could replace Mel. Making myself feel inadequate for other women, and believing it. Staying away from women, staying indoors.

    Thankfully, Dr. Leslie and the other ladies here, convinced me I was good enough for other women. That I deserve to be happy and loved. It worked! I have been outdoors a lot, I have met, and dated other woman.

    I hope I got this right? Thanks again, Dr. Leslie!!!
    Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD replied to dfromspencer's response:
    Dennis: I think you hit a "biggy" in terms of getting over rejection -- do things that help you feel good about you and your situation; and steer clear of things that make you feel worse about you and your situation. Thanks for sharing!
    younglady90 responded:
    What if you are the person that rejected a person? and want to help that person get over it? it can't be done can it? because rejection hurts and the person that rejected another can only make it worse or soften it right?
    Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD replied to younglady90's response:
    When you are the one who rejects someone else, there are things you can say to make the rejection feel more or less painful. For instance, blaming your decision to end the relationship on their inadequacies can lead them to feel worse. Or, you might share genuine positive feelings toward them while explaining you still need to move on; and with that, you might encourage them to get support from loved ones. This might help minimize the pain. But in the end, you cannot take away their pain. This is something they need to work through within themselves, but hopefully with support.

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