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    How Much Privacy is Good for a Relationship?
    Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD posted:
    There is no single set of rules that clearly outlines how much privacy partners in a couple should have. Rather, the amount of privacy that is healthy for any particular couple must be negotiated between the partners. This happens through discussions by partners who care about each other and want each other to feel emotionally safe, connected, and supported. Because partners often have different comfort levels when it comes to privacy, this can take time to work out.

    What has your experience been with working out with a partner different levels of comfort with privacy?

    If you would like to read more in detail about this topic in my post for WebMD's Relationships blog, click here .

    Dr. Becker-Phelps's discussions and her responses in those discussions are for general educational purposes only. If you need help for an emotional or behavioral problem, please seek the assistance of a psychologist or other qualified mental health professional.
    dfromspencer responded:
    Hi, Dr. Leslie, I hope you are well! Another excellent blog! I have always given my ladies privacy, as much as they wanted. If they was to say something I get curious about, then I may pry a little bit more info from them? I never dig at them, but I will ask them pointed questions if I have to? I feel people will open up to you more readily if you don't try to dig too much out of them. It's when they think you are interrogating them, is when they tend to clam up on you? Who wouldn't?

    Once you both get comfortable around each other, then you tend to loosen up. Gradually, and with time, we tend to tell each other more about our history, more intimately about ourselves. We even tell them of the secrets we kept about our friends, or even the family?

    I think its all a matter of time?

    Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD replied to dfromspencer's response:
    All good points, Dennis. True, deep intimacy does take time. And respecting each other's boundaries and sense of privacy is essential -- it's when people freely offer information about themselves that an ongoing, intimate relationship is developed.

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