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    Do You Know Why You Are Getting Married?
    Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD posted:
    Many, if not most, people have at least some pre-marital jitters. They worry about whether they've chosen wisely. Because there are so many elements in what makes for a successful marriage, it's impossible to know ahead of time whether your marriage will stand the test of time. But it can help a lot to know what's most important to you in a committed relationship so that you can decide whether you have a good chance of having that quality in your marriage. For instance, you might be looking primarily for passion, companionship, or security. They are all likely important, but the question is what your priorities are.

    What are you not willing to compromise on? If you are married, what do you think are the most important factors that have kept your marriage healthy? Or, what's been missing that has led to problems? If you are not yet married, what are the most important factors for you? And to what extent do you have them in your relationship?

    If you would like to read more in detail about this topic in my post for WebMD's Relationships blog, click here .

    Dr. Becker-Phelps's discussions and her responses in those discussions are for general educational purposes only. If you need help for an emotional or behavioral problem, please seek the assistance of a psychologist or other qualified mental health professional.
    winterglow responded:
    There were no jitters here. We had lived together for over 12 years when we got married and had already hashed out the important issues

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