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    How to Save Your Marriage After Infidelity
    Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD posted:
    For many spouses, their partner having an affair would mean the end of their marriage. But many — often in spite of themselves — choose to stay with their partner and try to make the marriage work. There are many strong and powerful emotions that need to be addressed if the couple is to truly repair the broken trust and commitment.

    If you have been in a committed relationship in which you or your partner had an affair — and you tried to repair your relationship, what did you do to try to improve things? How well did it work? Are there other actions you think might have worked better?

    If you would like to read more in detail about this topic in my post for WebMD's Relationships blog, click here .

    Dr. Becker-Phelps's discussions and her responses in those discussions are for general educational purposes only. If you need help for an emotional or behavioral problem, please seek the assistance of a psychologist or other qualified mental health professional.
    dfromspencer responded:
    Hi Dr. Leslie,

    I wish I could have known you back then, I might still be married if I did? But, as you already know, no matter what I tried, I never got my trust of her back.

    I think that if I had been a little more mature at the time, I may have pulled it off? I really tried to regain my trust in women, but my fear of getting cheated on, kept me from trusting again? We were both so, "forget about it", that our chance of getting it out there to discuss, was missed.

    The one thing we should have done, we didn't do. We needed to be open and honest with each other, but we didn't. We needed to talk about this, we let that chance just slip away.

    If there is one thing I learned from all of that, and talking to the people here, that includes you, too, Dr. Leslie, is to talk it out "together"! We really needed to be open, and trust each other, and not so "closed off" to our feelings. Well, you live and you learn, and boy did I learn!

    My thanks to all here, especially Dr. Leslie for her expertise, without which, I may never have learned! Thank you all sooo much!!!

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