Skip to content

    Announcements

    Attention All WebMD Community Members:

    These message boards are closed to posting. Please head on over to our new WebMD Message Boards to check out and participate in the great conversations taking place: https://messageboards.webmd.com/

    Attention: The information provided in this forum is intended for educational purposes only, and is not a substitute for individual professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
    Includes Expert Content
    Here it is.. How to leave your partner while pregnant?
    avatar
    StacyVaughn posted:
    A few of you seem to already be familiar with my situation, due to past posts. It's come down to me wanting to leave my fiancé; I'm currently 30 weeks pregnant. I'm just sick of what even I see as, emotional abuse. Even if he doesn't know it, or doesn't mean it, I have enough on my plate. I've found trying to deal with him/our relationship drama has become unbearable. The worst part is he doesn't seem to understand. This is my first pregnancy. I pictured it as a happy experience, but it has been anything but that. I've always been insecure as is, and struggled with eating disorders in the past. My fiancé has made constant remarks about my weight, comparing me to his ex (I was 120 I'm now almost 150). I unable to feel emo tally secure with him, and I definitely can't be comfortable intamitly with him. Everyone says how a pregnant woman is such a beautiful thing, but all I see is how gross I look. I wish I never got pregnant. When I use to want three kids, I don't ever want to get pregnant again. I really need some advise on how to go about this. How do I tell him? How do I act towards him after wards? Etc..

    A huge issue I'm also having with this is I cannot imagine ust sending my baby/child off to stay with (even though its her father) someone else. For me to not be there. What if he yells at her, or does something I wouldn't want him to? I want her to have her father, I think that's really important. I just don't know how to be ok with her having two homes, living some where else.. I see how it has affected his two kids, and I do not want that..
    FirstPrevious12NextLast
     
    avatar
    dfromspencer replied to StacyVaughn's response:
    Hi, Stacy

    I had a friend in Colo. Spgs. that ran a daycare out of her own house. She actually preferred baby's to the older children. She said they were less of a headache than the older ones. If you prefer, check with your local D.H.S., they might have a list of well researched, background checked daycare providers, that will accept babies. I feel its worth a shot, if you need to get a job?

    Good luck, and best wishes, Dennis
     
    avatar
    StacyVaughn replied to fcl's response:
    Spontaneously, I never implied? I have tied with friends about it, and my brother in laws mom has worked for one of the better one for many years. Lets put it this way, I'd rather put my life on hold till my daughter is old enough to walk, talk, and do some things for herself rather than putting her in a potentially harmful environment. One that I wouldn't even be able to afford anyway.
     
    avatar
    Alongwinter responded:
    I know how you feel. I want to leave my bd who is an obvious drug addict emotional abuser. He got sober before got me pregnant and has the world fooled that he's sober. He also has two daughters who've I've helped raise. And he's convinced his ex he's sober.

    I've been struggling through the first trimester and almost in my second. I'm financially stressed. And the false promises s drug addict makes about financially taking care of where I can't slip away. And quickly turn to me being a freeloader.

    He never wants to touch me and is always high. Percocets are his drug. But no one has ever been able to prove he's high. He def does the drugs that piss is away out of his system.

    All In all I'm scared to leave him cause I cannot afford this child on my own. I'm worried that he will yell at my child as well.

    And I lived through his worse times with his other kids and his addiction and it was hell. And here we are again.

    I get kicked out everyday if I don't do what he says. Like cuddle. Which is really me holding him while he's high until he passes out.

    I'd never want to abort this child but mentally I'm feeling stuck and the way he is I almost feel it would be a blessing to my child to not be around such Scum.

    I worry I can't do it on my own.

    I understand you so much.
     
    avatar
    Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD replied to Alongwinter's response:
    Your situation sounds awful. If you know people who can support you in leaving, you might want to reach out to them. You might also want to check out the resources listed with the crisis assistance info offered by WebMD -- just click on "crisis assistance" on the left side of this page. Try calling any of the numbers that you think might be able to help, even if you don't know that they help people in situations like yours -- it might turn out that they can help or can refer you to somewhere that can. Please feel free to return here for support. I also suggest that you start your own topic/discussion because this one is so old. You'll likely get more support that way. I wish you well.
     
    avatar
    dfromspencer replied to Alongwinter's response:
    Wow, I really feel bad for your predicament! I used to be that guy myself, but I used any drug I could get my hands on, and alcohol. For me, it took going to prison to get the help I needed. And, honestly, I couldn't thank them more! That saved my life.

    So, I know what you are going through. Please take Dr. Leslie's advice, please! There are so many ways you can get the help you need. Your first bet would be a women's shelter. Then, you should go to D.H.S., and even your city's county relief office. The county relief office can help you with rent, but I think you need to have a place to actually live in? So, first try your local D.H.S. office first, they can steer you in the right direction. You could even go to your church, if you have one, or the local one, anyway? They will sometimes help people with things like a bus ticket to where ever you want to go. Clothes if you need, and even food? You can qualify for emergency food stamps, and the local welfare could start you on their monthly check, to pay for your housing and utilities. There are just so many places out there to help homeless women that are pregnant, you just need to ask, that's all. The women's shelter can get you all that help themselves.

    I wouldn't like to see you lose this baby either! So, you now have no excuse, GET MOVING! Get as far away from this guy as you can! As long as he is controlled by the drugs, he will always be a danger to you, and worse, the baby! No more excuses, GET MOVING NOW!

    One thing I want you to understand about addiction, it controls you, it consumes your every thought, it leaves you totally dependent on it. You cannot fix him! Only he can fix himself. Please leave as soon as you possibly can, and don't worry about what tomorrow might bring. Just make sure you and your precious cargo are safe and sound. Cool?

    I hope this helps you be brave enough to move for the baby's sake? And please come by as often as you like, we will be happy to help you more, or just listen if you like? K?

    Dennis
    LIVE LONG, LOVE WELL!!!


    Featuring Experts

    Dr. Becker-Phelps is a well-respected psychologist, who is dedicated to helping people understand themselves and what they need to do to become emotio...More

    Helpful Tips

    Relationships and Coping Community recommended resourcesExpert
    About a month ago, I asked the community here to suggest resources for finding a therapist. They suggested: Psychology Today's therapist ... More
    Was this Helpful?
    15 of 22 found this helpful

    Related Drug Reviews

    • Drug Name User Reviews

    Report Problems With Your Medications to the FDA

    FDAYou are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit the FDA MedWatch website or call 1-800-FDA-1088.