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    Worn out and Depressed
    nmacky posted:
    When I first was diagnosed I thought, Oh well, that's what happens when you get old(er).

    Now that I have lived (if you can call it that) with the pain and aggravaton for six years or so I just can't see any reason to keep on keeping on.

    I realize I am really, really tired and depressed which makes everything seem worse. But, I am tired of hurting, of having to make adjustments for every little thing, like not being able to garden or take walks without being exhausted.

    My doctor tells me to learn to deal with it but he doesn't say how to do that. I don't want to be medicated to the max. I don't want people (and a lot do )telling me to "just do it", as if it were that simple. I want to be "normal" again. What's the point in continuing to live if I am going to get worse as my the last prognosis indicated?

    I know thousands of other people suffer much worse afflictions than I. That's why I am truly sorry to sound so self pitying. But being unable to use my hands, walk, do normal things without pain or even talk in a normal voice seems like too much to bear sometimes.
    xperky responded:
    It was just yesterday I was telling someone it's all just too much for me to deal with. My house needs too many repairs, let alone cleaning and gardening, for me to keep up with any more. No money to hire helpers. The pain and fatigue can get us down.

    I guess we are forced to accept a new norm for ourselves. I have to accept that doing things will be painful and the day after will be spent recovering from the doing of things, lol.

    I know my furry pets are a source of comfort for me. They don't care if I slow down a lot, in fact they prefer it. However, I lost my oldest cat a couple weeks ago, and that was very rough emotionally, as well as causing an RA flare. The love of pets is worth the pain of losing them though.

    I hope you can find joy in your life. I'm sure you deserve to have happy days!
    marzipana responded:
    Hi, nmacky. So sorry you are worn out and depressed...

    Maybe you should consider finding a doctor who is a little more empathic. A doctor who tells you to "deal with it" doesn't sound very helpful. Are you seeing a rheumatologist?

    I know you said you don't like medications, which is very understandable, but perhaps this is a discussion you could revisit with a doctor who is sensitive to your needs and concerns.

    Maybe my story will help: I am also very averse to taking medications (I think most people are) but I've worked with a (very patient) doctor who convinced me to do a trial of methotrexate, and it helped to some extent. She kept encouraging me to try Enbrel, and after a year, I gave it a try. I was really resistant to taking it, but I had some changes in my personal life which required me to do more driving and other activities which were really exhausting me, so I tried it.

    It was really helpful. In less than a month, I could do much more, with less fatigue. I could get dressed more quickly, carry groceries more easily. I started sleeping better, and actually woke up without morning stiffness. (Really, I don't work for a drug company!) I can also go out in the evening after work, instead of coming home and plopping on the couch. I even shoveled snow once, although in retrospect that was probably not a good idea! I was just so excited that I could do it.

    RA is a progressive disease, so the great thing about these biologic drugs like Enbrel, Humira and the others is that the can actually slow down or stop the progress of the disease.

    For me, the benefits outweigh the risks. I don't want to end up unable to use my hands and have problems walking and carrying things as I age.

    It is depressing to not be able to do things, to have chronic pain, problems sleeping, etc. So I understand how you're feeling. My sincere suggestion, based on my experiences, is to find a doctor who you like and trust, and be open-minded about the medications.

    A competent doctor who puts you on RA medication will monitor you regularly for side effects and will work with you to find the right drug or combination of drugs that work best and safely for you.

    Good luck and best wishes...don't give up the fight.
    mike201 responded:
    Hi nmacky

    I understand exactly how you feel. I am often in that particular boat as well. It just gets too much and the onset of depression is very dangerous. The unending pain is awful. I endorse all the comments made by the others and would add:

    - you are the captain of your boat. Navigate the sea.
    - go the high tech drug trail. I have and it helps a lot but it does stretch out the suffering due to side effects
    - be nice to yourself every day
    - when you are down get as much distraction as you can. I find this helps a lot
    - consider changing your diet to one that is not inflammatory
    - relie on your friends and family

    Smile a little and enjoy a good moment whenever you have it. Take care. Mike

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