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    help me please?
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    chloe_white posted:
    hi, I'm new to this site. I wanted to reach out to someone. anyone who will listen really.
    Basically, I self harm ( cut to be exact ) and I would like to stop. I have tried, it was my new years resolution in fact. But I relapsed after staying clean for just one day. I have tried to stop cutting by myself many times now but, clearly, each time I relapsed. I have only opened up to 4 people about cutting. 2 of which were accidentally (they saw my cuts on my arm). I haven't told my parents, only my friends. I do not wish to tell my parents either. I know that most people are understanding about self harm, but I have this terrible dread that they will not take it well and will be angry (I'm only 14 by the way). I haven't even told my 2 best friends because of that same fear. Every time I get close to telling them,they talk about this girl at school that cuts for attention. She cuts on her hand and tells everyone about it. She actually does cut for attention. I don't but I feel that they won't understand and will think that I cut for attention too. if you have any advice on how to stop and/or tell people to get help to stop, please reply asap. Thank you for reading this. It means a lot, and I do want to get help, I'm just scared to talk...
     
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    kellyklaes responded:
    Hi Chloe,


    I'm sorry to see you have had no replies to this. I would just like to let you know you aren't alone. I am a 22 year old female so our age difference is large but I can personally say I have been in your position. I started self harming when I was only 12/13 years old. It started out small and turned into a road that you never want to go down.


    Needless to say, those decisions will haunt me for the rest of my life.


    I understand being uncomfortable discussing it with your family and friends. My biggest fear was people thinking I wanted attention. When I was 14 a young man made a huge show of cutting himself while walking down a populated road. It became a huge joke amongst my peers about self harming for attention. I was huge and hiding my scars and injuries, self conscious about anyone seeing my arms. It was all I ever thought about. Hurting myself and hiding them. I craved it and hated myself for it all at once. I finally came clean to my parents when I was 19 and had been rejected by the military after attending MEPS. I had to explain to them why I wasn't going to boot camp. It was one of the most terrifying things I had to do...and it turned out so much better then I expected. My mother cried, she didn't understand, but she wasn't angry at me. She wanted to know what she could do to help me. She wanted to know if she had done something but I assured her it wasn't her fault. They wanted to be supportive and wanted to help me stop. They didn't judge me. They didn't yell at me. They did everything completely opposite of what I thought. I guarantee your parents will too.


    I didn't completely stop until two years ago when my significant other did the unthinkable. He told me I didn't have to stop if I didn't want to...but that it hurt him just as much as it hurt me. That was a way that I had never thought of it. It hurts other people when I hurt myself. It hurts other people when you hurt yourself. You aren't just scaring your body, you're scaring other peoples hearts.


    You will always be a self injurer. Even if you go twenty years without doing it. You just don't have to give into the urges. You don't have to identify yourself as such. You are stronger then you think, though. You have to decide for yourself that you don't want to be like this anymore. You do not want to end up losing friends and relationships like I have. Get a rubberband and place it around your wrist, snap it when you feel the need to cut. Start painting, perhaps. That's what helped me.


    You can do ANYTHING.


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