Skip to content


    Attention All WebMD Community Members:

    These message boards are closed to posting. Please head on over to our new WebMD Message Boards to check out and participate in the great conversations taking place:

    Boring sex
    StacyVaughn posted:
    Let me fill you in a little about myself on said topic. I lost my virginity at a young age, to a total a**. Even though he denied it, my and his best friend were pretty sure I was his first too, It definitely seemed like it! Any way. I had no clue what to do, and I was put on top. So it didn't go very well. Ever since that one time he constantly made fun of me, and put me down for it. So whenever I've been in a situation when I'm suppose to do all the work, I get super embarrassed and scared and freeze up. I've had four partners by the way. I've recently over come that, and am with someone I can be comfortable with sexually. So I WANT to do the work, I want him to tell me what he does, and doesn't like. Problem is, he can never "get into it" if he's not doing the work. There has been a time or two he has relaxed and just let me do my thing, but usually he interrupts, and can't keep from thrusting. He also has some issues were he won't let me be dominate, like iniciating sex. I wonder if it has to do with that? Usually if I just put myself on top, he won't say anything and go with it. But the last time I tried that, he stopped and said: oh I was just going to..... I've tried asking him what he likes, or someone I can do, change, etc. all he says is, "I like everything you do." I'm at a point of being completely bored with sex. Mostly cause I never get to do anything! And I told him this recently.

    I don't know what to do!? We've done dress up, watching porn, all different kinds of positions, locations, toys, etc.
    dfromspencer responded:
    One day, you will wake up and realise this guy just isn't that "in" love with you. He still will not change for you. YOU cannot make him change. He has to want to, for you. But he don't. And won't.

    Sorry Stacy, you are fighting a losing battle.

    StacyVaughn replied to dfromspencer's response:
    That's not really fair for you to say, nor is it your place to judge. You only know of our relationship from the few posts I've made. While I was emotional about it. It has been super tough lately, but here at the end our lives have turned and made drastic positive changes. It has made both of us better. I especial have seen a lot of growth and improvement he has made in himself. Losing his friend, almost losing Charli and I, I think really sank in. Being in love is a lot more than sex. He is older and seems to have a weird thing with being dominated, and has since the day we started dating.
    hairyd replied to StacyVaughn's response:
    Stacy, your requested our thoughts and you gave us the information about your relationship. that you wanted to share.

    I know that the truth can hurt.
    Always remember your penis is unique, just like every man.
    StacyVaughn replied to hairyd's response:
    I request thoughts on said subject. D's reply was irrelevant to my post. And I've already stated that there is more to the relationship than what a lot see, cause I come to this site for advice when this are wrong. I've stated the positive aspects. If no one is willing to take in both sides, not get too personal, etc than this site is no longer useful, and I'll seek advise else where. Thanks any way!
    longduckdong46 replied to StacyVaughn's response:
    Well you said that you have asked him what he likes and have tried different things to try and spice up the sex life. So your on the right track.
    As far as him thrusting. I am the same way if my DGF is on top or in any position for that matter, I still have to move the hips and grind away. I think it's just a natural thing for males ?

    My guess is that he just doesn't like to be the one dominated, and you will have to adapt and work around it.

    Helpful Tips

    Difficulty having an orgasm?Expert
    Try reading Becoming Orgasmic: A Sexual and Personal Growth Program for Women by Julia Heiman , Joseph Ph.D. LoPiccolo and David ... More
    Was this Helpful?
    6 of 9 found this helpful

    Related Drug Reviews

    • Drug Name User Reviews

    Report Problems With Your Medications to the FDA

    FDAYou are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit the FDA MedWatch website or call 1-800-FDA-1088.

    For more information, visit Dr. Becker-Phelps' website