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    No sex drive - 28 year old female!
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    n28ballgrl posted:
    I'm 28 years old, and have never really had a sex drive. I know everyone is different, but this seems silly. I'm engaged to the only man who has ever treated me right. He's caring, level-headed, hard-working, and a bit older than me. Doesn't drink, no drugs, no smoking - the perfect guy. Good looking, smart, funny - so why is it I have no desire for sex? I love him dearly, we've been together for a year now. I've always thought that "when you find the right guy, you'll want to make love all the time." I am on the pill (have been for 13 years), and recently was told I have low blood sugar (he does too) and that these things play a part in low libido (however has no effect on him). We live together, sometimes work together, and get along in every aspect of life. I've not been sexually abused, but it's always been hard for me to orgasm. I've also been riding horses since I was 4 years old and have been told that could have a negative effect on my sex life. Whenever we have sex I'm on top and use a combination of him and a vibrator to get me off. It's great when we get going, but I just have no "want" or "need" or "desire" to get things going. Could this be a medical issue, like a chemical imbalance, or just in my head? Is there anything over the counter that is safe to take to stimulate a womans libido? [email protected]
     
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    mhtyler responded:
    It could be a hormonal issue dear. I'd talk to a doctor. Beyond that, one of our board members had a reduced libido until she got off of the pill, so that could be an issue.
     
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    crazyfoot40 responded:
    n28ballgrl: Other than your fiance, are you ever turned on by other men or anything? Could this relationship be a platonic one, where you dearly love this guy but he is like your brother or father? I'm not sure why, but I never got turned on by my mother or sister or lots of women actually. However, there were those who REALLY turned me on. Sometimes we just have a hard time defining what does do it for us and what doesn't. You sound like you feel very safe with him, but maybe feeling safe doesn't trip your trigger. :wink: Tom
     
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    LoveMyIssues responded:
    Mark's talking about cat78fish, aka, Donna. She's stated many times that going off her hormonal B/C put her libido into overdrive. You've been on B/C since age 15, nearly half your life and virtually i all your sexual life. You might investigate alternatives, with your OB/Gyn's supervision, of course.
     
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    zane204 responded:
    if you haven't tried different birth control pills i would try another one. the first one i was on i wasn't able to get wet and my sex drive was decreased, i switched and i LOVE the new one i'm on. it can't hurt and definitely worth a try!!!
     
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    chris802008 responded:
    I just want to say you are not alone. I also have no sex drive and am 28. Once it is going it is good, but I just never feel like getting it going either. Sometimes I initiate, but for the most part I do not even think about it, it just is not something that is on my mind. I DO NOT TAKE BC PILLS. So I seriously doubt it is your BC. Most of my friend are like this too. They rarely want sex, but they give it up because they know their man will complain otherwise. I just simply have attibiuted it to the difference between men and women. Men are super visual. They even look at us, they get a hard on. Sometimes for no reason at all my fiance gets one just riding in the car because he thought of something. I think its hilarious. I just mostly want to talk and connect and have fun together on a mental level I suppose. There are just so many things I would rather do than be having sex. Men just are not like that. They have to have sex to concentrate and to go on with their day. I also do not have orgasms easily. Maybe those women who are nymphos have orgasms easily and that is why they want sex more often? But then I remember when I was single and would hook up with a guy. Sometimes I couldnt wait to get some. But I was like that with my fiance when we first got together. As the relationship matures and gets older, I think that the initial sparks kind of wear off. I think that what you are feeling is normal because a lot of women are just like us. I do not think it is a problem. Thinking that you will want to make love every day is a fairy tale...which is not real life. I also think that women do not hit their sexual peak until later in life, where as in men...18 is their peak! When we want it, they will not be able to keep up. For some reason men also think that other couples do it EVERY NIGHT. I think that they are misled. Couples do not have sex every night. Especially couples who have been together for awhile. We all get stuck in the rut of life and have too many things to do. I told my fiance to ask his friends how often they get it. When my friends boyfriends/husbands come over, they all complain to my fiance about how they NEVER get any. So I told him he is lucky he gets more than them! I would just not worry about this. I think it is normal and many women feel the same as you and just do not talk about it. Sparks wear off. Usually the women who have sex every day are not independent thinkers and I think being that sexual is not normal and is just a way to please and attract men. I hope this helps you know you are not alone.
     
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    An_210714 replied to chris802008's response:
    IM ALSO A 28 YEAR OLD WITH NO SEX DRIVE. I HAVE 2 CHILDREN BY MY BOYFRIEND, WE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 5 YEARS. AND BEFORE I MET HIM I WAS SEX CRAZY I HAD TO HAVE IT EVERYDAY THRU OUT THE DAY (A LOT OF TIMES DAILY). BUT FROM SOME POINT HERE (BOUT 2 YEARS AGO) AFTER MY SON WAS BORN IT DISAPPEARED COMPLETELY. I FEEL BAD BECAUSE HE ASKES ME ALL THE TIME AND I ARGUE WITH HIM NOT TO DO ANYTHING OR PRETEND IM TIRED, OR ACCUSE HIM OF WHATEVER. I HAVENT EVEN KISSED HIM SEXUALY SINCE THAT TIME. ITS JUST NOT THERE FOR ME. BUT I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY NOT. IVE ASKED THE DOCTOR N SHE SAYS I NEED THERAPY OR BE PUT IN DEPRESSION PILLS I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY EITHER. ITS BECOME A PROBLEM FOR ME. DEF NEED HELP. I KNOW ITS ABOUT YOU, BUT I JUST WANTED TO SHARE MY STORY WITH YOU SO U DONT FEEL ALONE IN YOUR JOURNEY.


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