Skip to content


    Attention All WebMD Community Members:

    These message boards are closed to posting. Please head on over to our new WebMD Message Boards to check out and participate in the great conversations taking place:

    A woman too easily aroused, extreme sexuality
    An_211386 posted:
    My problem is this...I can't control myself unless I starve myself sexually. I am a 39 year old female and for as long as I can remember I get aroused too easily and have great difficulty controlling my sexual impulses when I'm with a man. I can orgasm in less than a minute and can do so dozens of times...with the right guy or by myself. I know it's a wonderful problem to have when in a relationship. But that's just it. This is keeping me from getting into a relationship at all. I get aroused from the slightest touch or thought. Even a cool breeze sets me off. I can't be near a man I find attractive without my body taking over. I can't kiss a man or allow myself to be kissed without compromising myself. And when I'm with a man, my sexual urges become even stronger and more demanding.

    There have been many periods in my life where my body has taken over my life. Even though I was faithfully married for 9 years, I am ashamed to say that I've had more sexual encounters with men than I can count. It's been nearly 9 years since my divorce and I haven't had a "boyfriend" at all in that time. I can't keep myself from becoming intimate with a man with a few hours or a couple of dates. Men realize all too quickly how easily I become aroused and are all too willing to indulge me.

    I want more than anything to be in a loving, caring monogamous relationship, which I'm perfectly capable of, but my darn body gets in the way. I mean, what man wants to be in a long term relationship with a woman he get "have" so easily? Not to mention the intimidation factor with men who aren't used to a woman like me. Most of them don't think they can ever satisfy me in the long term. I've gotten to the point where I won't allow myself to even meet men and haven't been sexually active for nearly two years. .

    I've studied love addiction and sexual addiction but I truly believe it' my body's physical reaction that's the problem. I am in such a state of despair and shame. I can't even "take care" of myself anymore without ending up in tears as soon as I have release. I need help but I can't even broach this subject with counselors. I don't know what to do anymore.
    An_211387 responded:
    don't be so hard on yourself first things first,1st admitt you have an addiction you have to deal with it practising safe sex?you might have to cut back members stay away from men and women you need hobbies cooking,sports somethingyou need a friend possible with the same needs so you all know that all it is keep us posted; hello can we get a so-called expert to help this women
    fiesty99 replied to An_211387's response:
    I can admit that I have an addiction but have always been responsible and have tried to stay as safe as possible. I emmerse myself in work and hobbies but finding friends while having this type of problem is difficult.
    veryinquisitive replied to fiesty99's response:
    Then visit your Dr & ask questions. Maybe there's a physical reason that this happens or maybe it's a mental problem that causes it. You're never going to get "better" if you don't find out what's wrong.
    An_211388 responded:
    Yes you can broach this subject with counselors...and if you want to try and keep it from bugging you the rest of your life you will. I have a permanent problem too, bipolar and panic disorder. I have panic attacks like in the movies...wakes me up at night, my woman freaks out...I freeze up crossing the street etc. I'm a 32 year old man, a Black one at that, so you can imagine it's a little embarrassing.

    If this problem affects your quality of life, just suck it up and go to a shrink. I have tried anything else I could think of for my own problems over the years, assisted by google. But when it came down to it...what they call Cognitive Behavioral Threapy was the answer. It teaches you REAL ways to handle something like this.

    It sounds to me like your brain is trying to do something that you don't wanna do. I definitely know the feeling. It sounds like nobody outside a mental hospital is gonna understand or be able to help you. I know that feeling too.

    So hopefully you do go get some help, otherwise you're just wasting more years, and meanwhile you're not getting any younger, so go. Good luck.
    Taximan283 responded:

    I'm not so sure you have a sexual addiction. Maybe you can call it that, but it seems to be something physical going on. I want to tell you something else too. Anything that happens to one person, is surely going to happen to someone else too. Even if it's something rare. And I think what's happening to you is probably rare. This is one thing we have to love the Internet for. 20 years ago someone like you might have gone your whole life never hearing of someone else with this condition.

    You said the physical arousal comes first, right? What I mean is you become physically aroused and then you think of having sex. Or is it the other way around? This is what happens to most teenage boys. As teenagers we get aroused from nowhere, and then we think of girls. This makes me think that maybe your Testosterone levels are too high. A sex therapist can shed light on this subject, but I think you need a doc to run some tests and see what's going on with your hormones.

    One last idea here. Many of the antidepressant meds are known to kill a person's sex drive. This is the biggest complaint people have with them. But maybe for you an antidepressant can be used to calm down your sexual response. Again you need a doc. They know which ones are more likely to kill the sex drive. Also know this. If you try 1 med and it doesn't slow down your sex drive, then try another one. Effexor did it to me. I only took that stuff for 1 month and it was like my penis had died. I had no sensations there at all, and I couldn't wake it up for anything. So try an AD med. Whatever you decide to do, I think you need the help of a medical doc.
    alaska_mommy responded:
    I have heard that there are many women out there who are too easily sexually stimulated and it drives them crazy. They orgasm while working, or walking, or whatever. A lot of other women go, "what, that's not a problem, I wish I was like that!" but it truly is a big problem for these women. I don't know if there's a medical "name" for this, but google it and see what you come up with. I watched a show on TV a long time ago about it and there were lots of women with this problem. One gal found out it was hormonally-related, it was always on her period. She used BC to not have a period and it took care of the problem. You're not alone out there!
    Mensch59 replied to alaska_mommy's response:
    Many years ago I was involved in a relationship with a woman that had a very high libido and was easily aroused and highly orgasmic, like the woman describing herself. It was fun, but the rest of the relationship just didn't work out. However why must we put a label on her and just accept the fact that she is just 'wired differently"? Sex addiction implies that there may not be any real satisfaction from her encounters. That doesn't seem to be the case. She just needs to get counseling for her relationship issues instead of searching for causes that may not be there.
    ketownes responded:
    • I once saw a program about a women with the same challenges. she also assumed it was psychologically based. she found herself a very astute doctor, who after doing some research and some body scans, discovered that she actually had very dense nerve endings in the clitoris as well much more blood flow to the area as a whole. the treatment varied in her case from the use of meds and some psycotherapy.
    Mensch59 replied to ketownes's response:
    That makes sense. The girl I referred to had seizure disorders which may have something to do with her highly orgasmic nature. Like I said, "wired differently." But her sexuality was one thing in her life she could control completely, so it was rather positive for her. She had no hang ups at all when it came to that.
    lumina2011 responded:
    Practice YOGA. Your sexual energies are running wild and are unbalanced. It's that simple. A local yoga studio will do it. No need for mystical experiences. Courage!

    Helpful Tips

    Can a female get something from a man with Epididymitis? More
    Was this Helpful?
    0 of 0 found this helpful

    Helpful Resources

    Related Drug Reviews

    • Drug Name User Reviews

    Report Problems With Your Medications to the FDA

    FDAYou are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit the FDA MedWatch website or call 1-800-FDA-1088.

    For more information, visit Dr. Becker-Phelps' website