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    The Inner Child
    lovely_lemon_tree posted:
    Am I the only one who thinks that "Inner Child/Adolescent" work is a bunch of hokum?
    DOGDANCING_TCOS responded:
    eeehh, it has its merits. It helps one to better self-parent. To take on and learn the role of parent/healer to themselves.
    marysings responded:
    My work with my inner child is important to me. I'm teaching that little girl that she can trust now. Her pain is strong. I acknowledge her pain and stay focused on healing.

    I agree with Paja, I am learning to reparent myself.

    Hokum? I don't think so.
    I'm strong willed and I tell it like it is. I make mistakes, I'm sometimes out of control, but I love and give with all my heart. Have patience with me as I heal.
    Caprice_WebMD_Staff responded:
    As with anything else, it's what you make of it. Different approaches work for different people.

    My inner child work was quite different than what I've read here... for me it was getting in touch with the beautiful, strong, innocent, hopeful, perfect child that was before sexual abuse took so much of that away. SHE was stronger than the grown-up me who felt so damaged and broken. And she helped me heal.
    You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
    ~Christopher Robin to Pooh
    lovely_lemon_tree replied to Caprice_WebMD_Staff's response:
    My therapist wants me to work with the 18/19 year old girl within who lived through an extended period of abuse.

    I feel as if it's encouraging me to dissociate. I have never felt any need to "split" like those with DID do until she started asking me about the inner adolescent. And then she/me responded and it was totally as if I was someone else, but had co-conciousness. And then there was the adult me, sitting in the room, cold, and there was the adolescent me, having a meltdown. She is also R, but ... I thought the aim of therapy was to keep you together, not chop you up in pieces! Honest to God, I felt like I'd "split" off into someone else -- her, the younger R -- the technique FREAKED ME OUT.

    I don't need DID on top of everything. Like, no insult to any of you with the diagnosis, but I don't want to induce it in myself! It is much better for all of me to have the meltdown, not just a piece of me. I have to literally "keep it together." I can't tell you how important that is. I know that my host of problems leave me vulnerable to other things but I had no idea about how vulnerable I actually was.

    Has anyone else experienced this? Is it normal? Or should I stop this here and now?
    DOGDANCING_TCOS replied to lovely_lemon_tree's response:
    I would definetly tell her your concerns and reaction to it. Because you are right you don't need DID on top of everything else.

    My T's messing with stuff actually jelled some fragments of me into full blown alters.

    I would ask if there is another method to accomplish the theraputic task without causing the dissociation.
    awesomelexie1 replied to lovely_lemon_tree's response:
    My therapist uses developmental needs meeting strategy ( on me and it helps. Paja once called it DID on a leash.

    I would take Paja's advice and tell your therapist about it.

    It sounds to me like the memory is very strong within you. (lol that sounds like something from star wars). There may be a way to talk about it without personifying it. It may also become more diffuse over time as you talk about it and process it.

    I'd also recommend trying something like EFT ( ... that calms these things down for me in a hurry.
    awesomelexie1 replied to lovely_lemon_tree's response:
    Also, to answer your question, I don't have DID but that has happened to me before. It got easier the more I processed the memory.

    It is useful or me to think of dissociation as a continuum. I don't know that therapy can induce DID, but it is important to stay fully present and like you said, let all of you have the meltdown.

    My therapist makes me tell her stuff over and over until I can report it with true feelings, not an internal part of me mad and a part crying and the part actually speaking just giving a cold report. I'm sure yours will have other techniques also. I'd be curious about what she does, and how it works for you, if you would be willing to share...
    lovely_lemon_tree replied to awesomelexie1's response:
    Of course I'll share. (Besides, therapy is rarely a therapist-and-client-only endeavor. It requires other ears -- for both -- to bounce ideas off of or to process events.)

    I agree about the dissociation continuum. I guess there's even some argument that there is no such thing as DID, it's just on the extreme end of dissociation. However, never having had a moment like that -- to "split" and feel two distinct parts inside of one body -- and it really scared me. My therapist is big on grounding techniques and when I start to flip out she makes me come back into my body. I'm very frightened about sitting with an experiencing feelings, but she wants to demonstrate to me that sitting with feelings is not necessarily a bad thing. She wants to work with my only recently discovered profound self-loathing (I knew I wasn't happy with myself, but I hadn't realized how much until a few weeks ago).

    It's a big job.
    DOGDANCING_TCOS replied to lovely_lemon_tree's response:
    sounds like she is going to challenge you.
    I'm not really a psychopath, I just play one on the internet.
    KimmiKimKim responded:
    no, i wonder about it too

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