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    unprotected sex with a hsv2+ man
    An_252631 posted:
    I recently started dating a good friend of 2 years. Before anything got physical, he told me that he has hsv2. At first, I was turned off by the serious social stigma that goes along with it and was ready to end the relationship...but after some soul searching (and google searching) decided that I wanted to pursue the relationship. We had agreed to take things very slowly physically, but last night we got caught up in the moment and had unprotected vaginal sex...stupid, yeah, I know. But now I have questions!!

    He was not having an outbreak, but is also not on a suppressive medication. How likely is it that I (the female) could contract hsv2 from this one night? If I did contract it, how long would it take for symptoms to appear or to receive a positive blood test?? He said that his last two partners tested negative after the relationship ended.

    Also, when I was a child, I would occasionally get canker sores in my mouth. I remember it vividly because my mom would make me gargle with salt water - yuck! I haven't had one inside my mouth in nearly 15 years, but about once a year I get what appears to be a blistered pimple in the same spot on my lip. It's mildly annoying and easily covered by makeup for less than 2 weeks, then it's gone. I haven't had a test done, but since the numbers for hsv 1 are so high, I have to assume that I already that strain. I've read some information that says you are less likely (but not immune from) to catch hsv 2 if you already have hsv 1...something about antibodies. Does anyone know if this is true?

    Also, how can I be intimate with him and what precautions should I take? I've read so much about outbreaks and shedding that I've just confused myself. Is there always going to be a potential chance that I could contract it? What about me giving him oral sex?

    That fact is that I have very strong feelings for this man, but after being intimate with him, I also have some very strong fears about being intimate with him again. While hsv 2 isn't the end of the world, it is FOREVER and it makes me nervous to potentially commit to a lifelong virus without a lifelong relationship.
    abe648 responded:
    Ok so you did not start this intimate relatiomnship the way you wanted to but that is life and not everything happens the way we want it to.

    From the sound of things you really care for this guy and so it might take a while to figure out if you can commit to being with him. Think of it this way. So if he told you that he had cancer or something very serious you would most likely not walk away from him would you? Most likely not. If you love him then you have to love him just as he is. Every one brings baggage to any relationship. I will give you the odds of your getting this from him later.

    Most likely you did not get it from him but it would take about 8 weeks before you could get tested and have enough anti bodies in your system to know if you have it from this exposure. You could get tested with a "type specific IgG blood test for HSV 1 & 2 now so you will know what your status is right now. 90% of people who have GH have no idea they have it till they get tested you could have it already and not know it.. Ask for a copy of numeric test results and post them on here so someone can confirm your status.

    Yes there is always a chance that you could get HSV 2 genitally but if he takes suppressive therapy then it reduces your risk by 50%. HSV 2 does not like the oral area so the risk is only 3% of getting HSV 2 orally and from what you describe on your lip if sounds like you may have HSV 1 already so you would have some anti bodies built up to help you not to get HSV 2 orally by giving him oral. Also HSV 2 does not like the oral area so that is also helpful. HSV 2 does not have a lot of ob's.

    The best way to protect yourself from getting HSV 2 is to avoid sex anytime he has an ob and for him to take a suppressive therapy everyday. You can use condoms but after a while it may beocome a real pain and one then has to decide to continue or forget about using them.

    The bottom line is you have to decide how much you care for him and
    can you deal with being with him?

    The chances of Male to female transmission is as follows
    If you avoid sex when he has an ob the chances are 8-10% that you could get it over a year. If he adds suppressive therapy then it drops to 4-5% and if you use a condom then the risk drops to 2-3%.

    Before you decide I would recommend that you click on the Tiger and read my story which is very brief as well there are things that you will learrn there as well.
    If you have anymore questions ask away as there is nothing to personal to ask.
    God Bless the two of you.
    Abe ...I am not a medical professional. Read the Herpes Handbook, Watch the Video and Terri Warren's book is availible umder the Heading Herpes at
    CM400 responded:
    Great post by both you and Abe648. He clearly is well versed in the subject.

    A couple of things about HSV 1 and 2...

    I think you meant "cold sores" not "canker". This means that you already have one form of the virus. It could be either one (as Abe explained 1 prefers and 2 prefers other areas), but either one can possibly cause infect either area (genital area or oral area). However, as Abe explained HSV1 is typically oral and HSV2 is typically genital, but not always.

    If you choose to get the blood test you will probably test positive for whichever one you were exposed to in your childhood (most likely HSV1) as the antibodies are probably still present in you at a detectable level . The blood test is not 100% effective and can take up to 1 year (according to Terri Warren's publishings) to show up in the IgG (antibody) test. For increased accuracy consider researching the Western Blot test (somewhat complicated in being able to complete).

    At the end of the day... it's just a skin disease. I admire your open-mindfulness surrounding the subject. I just wanted to let you know about the tests (especially since you will most likely show up as positive for HSV1).

    Don't take my word for it... read the Herpes Handbook by Terri Warren and read her posts.

    Good luck!
    abe648 replied to CM400's response:
    I have read quite a few posts that you have replied to recently. I have found you to be a very helpful poster. Most people will test positive for herpes in about 6 months but some do take up to a year to test positive and some will be positive in about 3 months after a new infection.

    CM400 Welcom to the exchange.
    Abe ...I am not a medical professional. Read the Herpes Handbook, Watch the Video and Terri Warren's book is availible umder the Heading Herpes at
    CM400 replied to abe648's response:
    abe648- Thank you. I agree with your numbers.

    Heres' a little bit more info for anyone interested in information on the IgG testing for HSV...

    Abe648, you are absolutely correct, most people will test positive in 6 months and many will only take 3 based on everything I've read.

    I just wanted to let those out there reading there is a correlation between time of exposure (time for the antibodies within the body to increase [seroconversion> to detectable level ) and the effectiveness of the IgG type specific test. One one end of the curve are those who test positive in a relatively short amount of time due to antibody production while on the opposite end (very very small percentage) the IgG test will take up to a year (or in extraordinarily rare cases never detect).

    Again, Abe648 is absolutely correct- just want to try to help inform others out there about the limitations when using IgG for HSV antibody detection. This is not meant to confuse or frustrate anyone... just trying to spell out the research and equip those with information to make there own decisions.

    The bottom line... for the vast majority of people, 3-6 months should be plenty of time for detection, when using the type specific IgG blood test for HSV detection.

    I hope this helps. I'm sorry I don't have time to provide sources for the research on IgG testing in HSV and other viruses that I cite in this post. I am not a medical professional and encourage all to seek the advice of medical professionals in helping them make the best decisions in STD testing, detection and treatment in addition to self-education.

    I can tell you the "Herpes Handbook" by Terri Warren is one of the best documents on the subject for those reading in my experience.

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