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    Living with HSV2
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    newbie1820 posted:
    So, I haven't posted in a while, and I feel bad because I would like to be there more for those just being diagnosed, but grad school and applying for jobs has gotten ahead of me!

    So, Living with HSV2 has been difficult for me to cope with recently. After my initial OB was done...it got easier. Because it wasn't so painful and I could function day to day, the initial shock was gone.

    Since my first OB at the end of December, I've had about 2-3(one of them may have just been the yeast infection). I'm on Valtrex, but just take it when I have an episode or feel one coming.

    I finally admiited to 2 very close friends of mine that I DO have it. It was tough to admit and I sort of regret it, because admitting it, makes it real again....

    But it's part of my life now. I saw my ex, (whom I dated for 2 1/2 years, before I slept with the guy that gave me HSV2), for the first time since all this happened. And it made me sad that, I could not just sleep with him like we used to. Even if we got back together, I'd have to give "The talk" and it's possible that it may change his perspective of me.

    I get it, "blah blah blah, those worth it wont care" But do you know how hard it is being 23 and finding a guy to begin with. THEN throwing in the whole "Oh, I have HSV2....". It's tough.

    I haven't let it rule my life, I'm staying positive about it, and it really hasn't been an issue because I haven't seen any guys since December. I guess the problem is, I'm finally ready to let a guy in again, but, having this will be very difficult to discuss for me.

    HSV2 should not rule your life. Eventually, I'll get even less OB's and I'll feel even that much better about it. Eventually, I'll find a guy that will accept me for all of my downfalls, including this Virus.

    And the good news to those just going through your first OB and you're in pain, it WILL get better. I had THE WORST 10 days of my life with my first OB, so that kind of makes a lil pump showing up down there a lil less tramatic, because I don't have the pain and discomfort that I once had.

    A few of my concerns are: 1. I'm a very sexual person, yet" friction from sex can CAUSE Obs"...that's lame(I get it, use lube, but that still does suck lol) 2. Don't wear tight clothes, I like wearing those tight leggings, but.....I think that has caused my last 2 ob's...that sucks. lol. Like, what should I wear to run? Baggy sweats? I dont get it... 3. Alcohol can cause obs? I'm not a HUGE drinker, but it stinker that I feel worried about it, going out with friends and all. 4. I know i've discussed shaving, but I feel like the last time I shaved caused an OB, idk...has anyone else had any input on shaving down there(female) and more obs?

    Yea....silly concerns! But just things that have been on my mind. Thank goodness this board is here!! Thanks guys, hope all is well with everyone! Thanks for just being there for ppl that need it!
     
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    abe648 responded:
    Welcome back and do not stay away so long. Once you are through I think you said Grad come on back and help others out it will help you to feel that you are worth something as well.

    I think you said Valtrex only when you have an ob. Try going to suppressive therapy. I went 17 years with only using an ointment (zorviax Isp?)) and every time I would have sex I would have an ob. It was not till about a year ago I got properly tested and started using Valtrex and that I had no ob after each time I had sex. So if Valtrex is to expensive give Acyclovir a try it is very inexpensive and I would hope that it would help to eliminate ob's caused by friction. If you do not produce enough lubrication naturally then you should use lube. i know it is not very romantic but if it will keep you from getting ob's then it is worth the minor frustration of enjoying what seems to be a very important part of your life.

    Secondly when it comes to tight fitting clothes. I cannot comment on when you go running what to wear perhaps someone else will be able to help you for that point. If when you are not running and I know that being young you want to cool and hip then try wearing dresses when possible as you can be a real flirt in a dress and look really attractive.

    I never seemed to connect alcohol and ob's to each other. It might have caused some problems but I cannot really think of that it did. I of course like you do not drink a lot of alcohol. Maybe 3 drinks in an evening and maybe not have any more alcohol for a couple of days and normally I wil only have 1 drink in a day but each person is different and I think for some alcohol may be a problem with ob's and with others it may not be a problem. Again if you would be on suppressive then it may not bother you as much.

    When it comes to dealing with dating and having to tell it is all in how you tell someone. If you make it a big deal and get all emotional and teary eyed the guy is going to get all worked up to. Sure you need to tell him but you also need to be more relaxed about it and of course the more times you tell someone it will get easier. It will never be easy but you will find little tricks that work for you so that the guys get the message that you have herpes but also you can still be intimate with them and I think all the more reason to be on suppressive as if you meet a guy and you can tell him hey if I avoid sex when I have an ob and also if you are on suppressive and then uses a condom his odds of getting it is approx 1% over a year based on sex 2 times per week.

    I hope that helps you to think about dealing with the issue that are bothering you. Hang in there and remember to :In time it will get easier and life will improve.
     
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    jennieann32 responded:
    One of the things that stuck out with me is having to have "the talk". Don't forget that he might also have to have "the talk". HSV is very common and it's not the only STD or STI out there.

    As for the pants/workout clothes, could you buy one size bigger? They'd still be fitting but not so tight that they'll cause friction. As for the alcohol, etc...You will learn your limits. I drink socially and haven't had any problems. I shave every other day and haven't had any problems. But everyone is different. I use vaseline instead of shaving cream because I have almost an allergic reaction to the shaving creams. Just a thin coat helps the hairs stand up and keeps your vajayjay nice and soft . It sounds funny but it does. I use either Venus or Soleil razors because they are better quality.
     
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    newbie1820 responded:
    Thanks so much for the lil tips guys! Now that I'm over the initial shock, it's just living with HSV2 everyday that I'm dealing with.

    As far as suppressive opposed to episodic.....i've defiintely been juggling with the idea. It's just tough, b/c I'm still on my moms insurance..and I really do NOT want her to know about my herpes status. It's just one of those things that I dont want to talk to her about. We don't talk sex or anything and it's my personal business. (I mean I'm 23...I'm just still a grad student so I'm still on her plan)

    AND my nightmare of a gyno apparantly ONLY prescribes Valtrex. I'm working up the courage to go to a new gyno....but it's almost more hassle than anything. I'm going to try to fill my prescriptions at Walmart b/c I hear it's cheaper. Right now to fill 30 capsulse of Valtrex costs me about $115 at Rite Aid!

    If I am in a relationship again, I would definitely go on suppressive therapy to lower the chances of transmission.

    It's hard....dealing with all this still. I'm feeling guilty because I may have given it to the guy i was dating at the time. And he's gone on a downward spiral since we broke up(all after this came out) I think he is even goign to start selling coke?! I know it's not my fault how he deals with his stress etc. And I keep telling myself it's not 100% my fault if he got it. Because I didn't know I had it, and he knows the risk of having unprotected sex and we did it anyway. BUT...I am at fault.

    It' s a terrible feeling. Anger at the guy that told me he was "clean", guilt for not being more safe, guilt from not being safer with the guy I was dating.

    It's always a work in progress trying to overcome and not stress out over it.

    But it could be worse, it's not life threatening! And I'm with 25% of the other woman out there! It hasn't been as bad as the first OB(oh man..that was HORRENDOUS!)

    Thanks again, and sorry to everyone for being so selfish on this board so far and not being more supportive to everyone. Just a crazy time of year!!!!
     
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    kaisanan responded:
    that is total bs that your doc wont prescribe a cheaper medication. YOU are his customer. total bs.

    could you got to planned parenthood and take your valtrex bottle in and explain that you just want a cheaper medication and ask if they will set you up for a brief consult so you can get a script for the cheaper meds? supressive acylovir is like $20/mth
     
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    dphillips81 responded:
    I just found out today I have HSV2....dealing with the shock is taking its toll on me....how did u handle the intial shock of it? And how did your partner deal with it because mine isnt saying a word....i feel so bad
     
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    abe648 responded:
    newbie1820 Do not feel so bad that you cannot be as supportive as you want to be. Just don't forget to come back once things settle down and do post to others. I see a really different more mature newbie1820 than when you first posted and that is good. I think it is starting to settle in and now life goes on. Remember to and also that no one knows you have herpes unless you tell them. You wil be ok.
     
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    lp130 responded:
    Hi dphillips81 - It's best if you start your own post, otherwise it gets lost.

    To start a new post, go to the Genital Herpes web board "home page". About an inch below Terri's picture is an orange button "Start Discussion". Make sure you're logged in, click on that button and start your own post
     
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    tryin2cope75 replied to abe648's response:
    how can u tell someone that u are involved with that u have herpes?? I am having a hard time coping that i have herpes
     
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    babys22 replied to tryin2cope75's response:
    Hi i saw your post and thought i would lend some support. I have to be honest its a very hard thing to tell your partner but it needs to be done, its only fair to tell the other person your involved with. If the person truly cares about you they will still care about you. I told my partner and at first he was very upset about it, it took sometime to adjust but he loved me and stayed with me to support me. If you have any questions let me know.
     
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    infinaty replied to newbie1820's response:
    You said that you was angry with the guy that said that he was "clean". I don't know the whole story behind that but let me share some of my story. I was seeing someone. We used condoms. We both went and got tested for everything. We both came back "clean". We stopped using condoms. Later on I had an outbreak.....went to doctor. Tested positive for HSV2 then he got tested and he was positive too. We found out later that they don't test you for that. If I had slept with someone else during that time, i would have told them that i was "clean" because i really thought that i was. I have learned so much from this site and all these wonderful people have gotten me through this. Good luck to you!
     
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    leahquestions responded:
    I love your story thank you. I'm on daily therapy of valtrex been breaking out regular since last Sept. My outbreaks last 2 wks instead of three but are still very painful. My other health issuses are more serious and have helped me to focus on other things but it al still lingers.. good luck with dating let us know how it goes


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