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    Masturbation when married
    An_243270 posted:
    Because of my wife's health problems we do not have sex very often. I still have the same strong sex drive I had always had. So I masturbate a lot. How do you guys feel about married men masturbating because their wives cannot have sex very often?
    Anon_5862 responded:
    I have similar infrequent intercourse/sex issues. Mostly due to back and sciatica pain that makes it very uncomfortable to be on her back for very long if at all most nights. Have been masturbating all through the marriage ... usually 1-2x a week.
    Still manage to have sex 1x a week...sometimes 2 but 5-6 days apart.
    fcl responded:
    Personally, I don't see why masturbation would be a problem. It doesn't bother me if my partner masturbates (ad vice versa) as long as it isn't taking the place of partnered sex. I really don't understand why you should be worrying about this.Does your wife object?
    There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
    fcl replied to Anon_5862's response:
    Why does she have to be on her back to have sex? There are many other positions that might not cause her pain ...
    There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
    Anon_5862 replied to fcl's response:
    I didn't ramble on before but, my wife has had both knees replaced and, still has pain/mobility issues which carry into the bedroom...if you were thinking about "doggy" style sex. We have tried other positions as well with limitied success.
    doogood replied to fcl's response:
    I have to agree with FCL - there are many positions to try and cushions designed for alleviating strain on the body during intercourse. Couch cushions, pillows - even foam blocks that are used for cushions might help. Check out a fabric store for foam in various shapes and sizes. If you're really feeling creative, there are slings or swing devices that can be used - just make sure they're installed correctly! You wouldn;t want either of you getting hurt! Now back to your question, and to agree again with FCL. Masturbation is a great thing - as long as it doesn't replace intimacy with a loved one. I've been married for 22 years and let me tell you, I started well before I was married - when i was about 12 I thinki - and I'm not stopping any time soon! I've encouraged my wife to masturbate over the years - there are times when one of us has more of an urge than the other, and we're both ok with that. What about mutual masturbation? Been there done that too. That's a great shared experience and less "guilt' about not having sex with your wife. Best of luck to you both, and keep searching for a solution - experimenting should be fun!
    geokeith responded:
    I have always masturbated through marriage, and I think most guys do and for a lot a reasons; like you, we are at a point in my wife's health where sex is infrequent at best; even when we were much more active, I still found the need to jack off just about every week; most women do not need or want sex as often as men; I actually found by masturbating I "calmed" myself and reduced the urgency of my sex urges and was a better, more sensitive lover;

    So keep jacking off; find alternative positions for sex if you can; my experience found that when my wife first experienced pain during intercourse, the fear of that pain was as much a deterrent to her sex drive as was the reality of pain; so I don't know that you will find any completely satisfactory answer to your problem;

    Good look buddy; as for me, I will keep the lotion and tissues handy...
    Anon_5862 replied to geokeith's response:
    So, it is as common as I suspected. Married for 33 years and have been masturbating for nearly 40. Position wise, mostly on my back with good lube and a t-shirt. Bought a stroker a while back but it is not that "handy"...can make you numb if you are too agressive with your jacking off. Reason is the same as Geokeith, sex drive differential and it does calm me a bit, but not completely. I find that I can last longer with my wife the day or morning after a self session.
    An_243270 replied to Anon_5862's response:
    As the guy who began this subject here, I want to share that we've been married for 38 years and I never stopped masturbating ever since I learned how to at age 12 (another subject). I usually am sitting in a chair at the computer watching free Internet porn. And if it makes any difference to anyone, I do not fantasize about another woman while I masturbate. (Read between the lines.)
    doogood replied to An_243270's response:
    If I'm reading correctly you're watching the same type of more manly internet porn I also partake. Not sure how much more you're wanting to share, just know that you're not alone my friend. And is there a different question you're wanting to ask here?
    gymrat44 replied to doogood's response:
    Another point to consider here is that in one sense male masturbation is a counterpart to women's monthly periods -- there is an internal reproductive product which the body manufactures and is either used or passed along out of the body. We guys really do have the better end of the deal.

    Now I'm not saying that all the sperm which we produce has to be ejaculated -- I believe that unused amounts can be re-absorbed by the body. However, a good argument can be made for the wisdom of regularly moving one's male fluids along and making room for the fresh stock which is being created. If we can do that with our wives, girlfriends, &c - fine; if not, the hand-to-cock alternative works just as well.

    For some couples it can be a matter of timing and schedules or just different levels of need. If you still have some need for release left it's time to make your fingers soldiers in the SLA (semen liberation army) and take care of things. Simple as that.
    doogood replied to gymrat44's response:
    I agree. My self pleasure escapades increase when my wife is having her period. Not that I don't want to be with her, just more convenient for both of us if I take matters into my own hands. (Sorry - couldn't resist a pun!)
    An_246614 replied to doogood's response:
    My wife has had health issues and we have not been able to have sex for over three years. Masturbation has helped me to control and deal with a sex drive that is still very strong. I use to feel guilty about it but I try to remember all the good times we had when I jack off. I don't have a temptation for pornography any more Most of the time its a quick five minute job but sometimes when I have time alone and I take my time and enjoy my response. I lay in our bed and remember the good times.

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