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    Waking up ANGRY
    kimmie120480 posted:
    My husband tends to fall asleep on the couch and when I come out to wake him up so he can come to bed, he usually wakes up in a very angry mood. Sometimes he just glares at me and sometimes he full on yells at me. Also every now and then he'll wake up in the middle of the night because of something that I am doing, ie. coughing, and he will yell at me, one time he told me to bury my head in the pillow. When I talk to him about it the next morning he has absolutely no recollection of any of it. He doesn't even remember waking up. At this point it is really starting to upset me. Could this be some form of a sleeping disorder? Is there something we can do about it?
    USMCsniper responded:
    Hi kimmie, Was your husband ever in the military and did he see combat ? When in a combat area you have to be very careful how you wake a friend - you might get shot. This is a long shot but just wondered about PTSD, there are many other explainations and I am probably way off base.

    For years my wife had to tap on my foot to wake me up - the only way to keep me from coming out of the bed in a rage.

    God bless,

    CatlinPM responded:
    I don't want to hijack your thread, but I'd like to know the answer to this too as my husband has the same problem. He will either fall asleep on the couch or wake up from sleeping in bed while I'm in the living room watching TV and than commence yelling at me for whatever he can find fault with. Usually something really silly like the dishes not being done to his liking, or a piece of clothing left on the floor etc... Yesterday was the worst "episode" yet... He fell asleep at 7:00PM (he has to get up really early for work) than came back out the living room at 9PM yelling at me for how selfish I was being by not going to bed with him at 7pm, when I tried to go to bed he demanded that I sleep on the couch and promptly knocked a large mirror off the wall which shattered all over the floor than slammed the door and went back to bed. He remembers all these incidents but has no idea why he acts like that and assures me he isn't mad at me. He also occasionally kicks and thrashes in his sleep. and on the last occasion punched the wall several times. Sometimes when I get up in the middle of the night for one of our kids and I come back he asks me odd questions, last time was "where have you been for the last couple of hours?" when I was gone for maybe 10 minutes. Or the very common "What was that!!" and than promptly going back to sleep. I'd really like to figure this out too as I'm not enjoying these kind of "dramatic" evenings...
    jenkay20 replied to CatlinPM's response:
    I am a 28 year old women, and I have the very same problems your husbands suffer from. It has been like this as long as I remember except when I lived alone. Now I am married and my wonderful husband is having to put up with me waking in rage. I feel so bad about it and want to fix it. I feel so lost and out of control.
    Byroney_WebMD_Staff replied to jenkay20's response:
    Dear Jenkay20,

    If you haven't already, you may want to look at this article on REM Sleep Behavior Disorder . Then I think you should go see a sleep specialist and get diagnosed and treated. You may also want to talk with a counselor or therapist.

    There's definitely help available. Just reach out for it.

    In support,

    rx_sleepy replied to USMCsniper's response:
    Do you still need to be woken up this way, or has counseling/medication helped? Sorry, you probably feel like I'm following you around on here! But I am on the threads for myself for narcolepsy, but my boyfriend has these types of issues from the PTSD so we're an interesting combo! Sometimes I wake him and he screams and jumps like I'm trying to kill him, which is exactly what is happening in his mind I guess. I just hate having to do it! He is usually ok with the alarm, it just hit me maybe to set an alarm and put it near him when I need to get him up? Did you ever try anything like that? Even with the foot thing he jumps, he just doesn't wake up with a face right in front of his that way so it's not quite so bad, and I know I won't get smacked!
    Kaytee2595 replied to jenkay20's response:
    hey i have exactly the same problem and my boyfriend is waking up in bad moods every morning because he cant get to sleep with me waking every half hour and shouting at him, i feel so horrible but i don't no what to do.
    adamrace responded:
    Have you had any luck with this problem? I'm going through the same exact problem right now with my girlfriend. Last time she woke up several times through out the night, and I guess I was yelling at her. This is the second time in the past two months that this is happened. I think this all may be stress related but I'm not sure. I just moved from NY to FL and started a new job. It took me a while to find one here and it was really draining me, and stressing me out. I have no recollection of these episodes at all and I'm really worried because I don't want her to have to deal with this. If you read this please help.
    polarcrow responded:
    I have this problem, but its really not a problem its natural when you are woken up in a certain part of rem sleep. The person who was just woken up may not realize they're being irrational at the time or may not remember it at all. Your best bet is to let them sleep it out, but seek an expert if he does this every time you wake him.
    happytrails65 replied to polarcrow's response:
    I am not a professional but have studied it, cause I have relatives who are like this. I believe all the above are the night time symptoms of Anger Personality disorder a.k.a. anti social personality disorder a.k.a. IED Intermittent explosive disorder. It's a genetic heritable personality disorder. It gets worse with age. The symptoms vary from person to person. A person may have one of the symptoms, a few or all of the symptoms. Caffeine, alcohol and sugar makes it worse. Sleep in a different room from the person who has it. When in a rage they are not thinking and often don't remember it cause I believe they have 2 separate personalities. When they are like this, leave the room. and never argue back, or change the subject if you are in a car with them. They will never admit to being mentally ill and most people are never treated unless they end up in jail or prison where they are forced into treatment.
    EnlightenedShadow replied to happytrails65's response:
    I disagree with this. I myself am one to wake up angry when woken up and this happens every night. I am proving this user's statement wrong by admitting this myself. I am mentally ill and I want treatment. I don't want my fiancee to fear waking me up in the night. I will not wait to end up in jail and no one will have to force me into treatment. I personally don't like the negative attitude of the previous post. Not everyone is afraid of admitting there is something wrong. Some of us really do want help. Hence the reason we are here.
    juju1836 responded:
    Most mornings, when I first wake up, I am either really sad or Really Mad!! Today I was MAD. I am 35 yrs old and I live with my bf. I try to joke about it and say that I am not responsible for what I say or do when I first wake up. But it's really not funny, especially if you are in my path during one of these mornings. It's like the minute I open my eyes, my brain is flooded with negative feelings and thoughts. One thing for sure that sets me off, if I wake up and have unresolved feelings from the day before, like regrets or hurt feelings. I wake up and whatever those negative feelings are, turn quickly into furry. I even throw (embarrassing) fits. I will hit the wall as I am turning on the lights, literally try to rip my pillow in half, and I honestly do not see how my coffee pot has made it through my furious, make coffee as fast and hard as I possibly can fits. And if my boyfriend is in the path of destruction, I will say something really ugly to him. Sometimes I will yell at him about something that I seriously need to talk to him about or a issue in our relationship, but I make it way worse by saying it in a very hateful way. then when I really want to talk about that particular subject, it's already tainted bc of the way I brought it up or the rude things I have said about it in my fit of rage. Well, that's what happened this morning and I am feeling full of shame and regret right now as I write this. I WENT OFF ON HIM. I was physically throwing a fit until I was out of breath. Yeah, I did that. All bc I felt like I didn't sleep well or comfortably bc he was always in my way or laying near me. (He is very affectionate and touchy and me not so much) After a few minutes of being awake, I started feeling horrible about the way I acted. I said I was sorry, but sorry doesn't cut it this time. And it shouldn't. I was mean. But now it's awkward and we haven't spoken in hours. I know that I am in the wrong, but at the same time, I see Red when I wake up and have to get through that, ALMOST EVERY DAY. IT'S NOT FAIR TO ME OR ANYONE AROUND ME. I Can literally feel the chemicals in my brain rush over me when I wake up (or that's how it seems ) and have to try to pull it back in and be normal. Every day.
    MeshaTyron replied to juju1836's response:
    I wake up feeling angry all the time and treat the love of my life badly because of it i need to know wat i can do to stop this .
    1Chance1 replied to MeshaTyron's response:
    I have the same problem. But it only happens if someone wakes me up for no good reason. If the house is on fire I understand. But if you just want to talk. I will do anything to get you to leave me alone or get you back for waking me up with something that can wait. I am a felon now because of this and some unfortunate circumstances. Has any one got a diagnosis. My father was like this and my daughter has it too.

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